Never Again!
He says
waving his fist
without a second crowd
coming.
How to tell
twins apart
especially when one
looks so much like
the other.
So much like one
another.
like one,
but no other.
Like me, but
my brother.
Brother, we are
in this thing together.
No telling where
or how,
that path to
SOMEWHERE.
I guess I'll
just
have to
See you there,
Sucker.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
2 for 10 Plus 5
I have been holed up on my couch for the past two months, give or take, studying for the California Subject Examination for Teachers. I need to pass the godforsaken thing before I start brainwashing children into loving one another and eating vegetables. The test is intense yadda yadda but I've got the craps under wraps- Hence all the studying. IE Gaseous Planets: Jessica Sucks Ugly Nerd Penis- Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto...
In between the times I have not been studying, quietly, alone in the comfort of my couch (butt dent included), I have been out, drunken, loud and terribly terribly un-alone. It's been a whirlwind, but I suppose there is a kind of equilibrium to my bookworm good girl days and my wild, insufferably drunken bad girl nights, Thus proving, once again, the Law of Conservation of Energy. Potential Energy and Kinetic Energy: These are the equations of my life.
Today was like any other test prep weekday. Study, eat, Study, Study, eat, Bad Movie on Net Flicks (Surfer, Dude Why? WHY??), Study, Study, Eat, Train cat for Russian Circus, Sleep. Only today, in between Surfer, Dude and Study I went to Walgreens to buy Number 2 pencils for the test. Yes, it is a BYOP affair. I pay $270 to take a test at 7:15 in the morning all the way on 111th St- which is basically Indiana- and NO FREE NO 2 PENCILS! Outrage.
N E WAYZ- It was amazing. Walgreens is a truly wonderful place. It was actually the first job I ever had. I was fifteen, liked to steal and needed money to buy jugs of vodka for the weekend. It was perfect, I would sit outside during my break smoking P-funks and eating Cooler-Ranch Doritos in my extra large teal vest and wonder if I could live like this forever. Of course, I was held up by gunpoint before forever came and quit shortly thereafter. I'm pretty sure the perp used the old finger gun in pocket routine, but I WAS NOT going to take one for the walgreens.
I digress.
Walgreens is filled with all sorts of things. Automatic Pet Nail Filers (DOES NOT WORK), a multitude of dieting kits, lipsticks, shoe polishes, tampons... I wandered aimlessly after I found my pencils and was completely at ease. "In my element," you could say. I breezed through an In Touch, checked out the candy aisle - RED HOT JOLLY RANCHERS!!! WOW - picked through the flip-flop and plain t-shirt display and pondered whether or not I should invest in a Turkey flavored Lunchable.
I only had $10 so I went against my better frivolity and picked up the only real food they sell instead: eggs, and continued my meander. Somehow I found myself in the bouncy ball aisle and discovered several cases of these "Giant High Bouncing Glitter Balls!" and spent the next 20 minutes individually bouncing each color, until i decided on pink. It's like a bouncy rubber snow glob twirling with glorious Pink Fairy Dust: Very magical. I spent another 10 minutes deciding whether or not I should forget the pencils, F the test and get the 2 for 10 deal, so I could get the Pink and Green ball. The green was also REALLY cool.
No. I HAD to get the pencils. Every trip to Walgreens has a mission and I couldn't just chuck it all for some shiny green fortune telling glitter ball that can bounce up to two times my height now, could I???
I left with a pack of NO 2 pencils, a carton of eggs, and a pink "Giant High-Bouncing Glitter Ball." I've never been happier. And on my way home- I found a 5 dollar bill on the ground. And it's all because of Walgreens.*SIGH* Walgreens. Where dreams come true.
In between the times I have not been studying, quietly, alone in the comfort of my couch (butt dent included), I have been out, drunken, loud and terribly terribly un-alone. It's been a whirlwind, but I suppose there is a kind of equilibrium to my bookworm good girl days and my wild, insufferably drunken bad girl nights, Thus proving, once again, the Law of Conservation of Energy. Potential Energy and Kinetic Energy: These are the equations of my life.
Today was like any other test prep weekday. Study, eat, Study, Study, eat, Bad Movie on Net Flicks (Surfer, Dude Why? WHY??), Study, Study, Eat, Train cat for Russian Circus, Sleep. Only today, in between Surfer, Dude and Study I went to Walgreens to buy Number 2 pencils for the test. Yes, it is a BYOP affair. I pay $270 to take a test at 7:15 in the morning all the way on 111th St- which is basically Indiana- and NO FREE NO 2 PENCILS! Outrage.
N E WAYZ- It was amazing. Walgreens is a truly wonderful place. It was actually the first job I ever had. I was fifteen, liked to steal and needed money to buy jugs of vodka for the weekend. It was perfect, I would sit outside during my break smoking P-funks and eating Cooler-Ranch Doritos in my extra large teal vest and wonder if I could live like this forever. Of course, I was held up by gunpoint before forever came and quit shortly thereafter. I'm pretty sure the perp used the old finger gun in pocket routine, but I WAS NOT going to take one for the walgreens.
I digress.
Walgreens is filled with all sorts of things. Automatic Pet Nail Filers (DOES NOT WORK), a multitude of dieting kits, lipsticks, shoe polishes, tampons... I wandered aimlessly after I found my pencils and was completely at ease. "In my element," you could say. I breezed through an In Touch, checked out the candy aisle - RED HOT JOLLY RANCHERS!!! WOW - picked through the flip-flop and plain t-shirt display and pondered whether or not I should invest in a Turkey flavored Lunchable.
I only had $10 so I went against my better frivolity and picked up the only real food they sell instead: eggs, and continued my meander. Somehow I found myself in the bouncy ball aisle and discovered several cases of these "Giant High Bouncing Glitter Balls!" and spent the next 20 minutes individually bouncing each color, until i decided on pink. It's like a bouncy rubber snow glob twirling with glorious Pink Fairy Dust: Very magical. I spent another 10 minutes deciding whether or not I should forget the pencils, F the test and get the 2 for 10 deal, so I could get the Pink and Green ball. The green was also REALLY cool.
No. I HAD to get the pencils. Every trip to Walgreens has a mission and I couldn't just chuck it all for some shiny green fortune telling glitter ball that can bounce up to two times my height now, could I???
I left with a pack of NO 2 pencils, a carton of eggs, and a pink "Giant High-Bouncing Glitter Ball." I've never been happier. And on my way home- I found a 5 dollar bill on the ground. And it's all because of Walgreens.*SIGH* Walgreens. Where dreams come true.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
