Robin Williams, You Have It All

When making my Top 5 Most Perfect Movies list I considered the movie Hook. But then I watched it on the USA channel at my parent’s house in Minnesota for the 8 millionth time. And you know - as much as Dustin Hoffman virtually disappears as an actor in his genius depiction of a poetic yet bumbling drama queen of a Captain Hook and that infamous imaginary food fight has lead me to experiment with food coloring on mash potatoes and scour the earth for a glass of BoBo- the movie is kind of annoying. I really hated Peter Banning’s sappy 10 year old son crybabying over how his dad never watches him play baseball and that weirdo scene where Julia Roberts turns into a life size princess Tinkerbell and tries to get into Robin Williams' pants. Of course RU-FI-OOOO was a 1991 wet dream and a half and the lost boys were a charming amalgamation of thoughtful raggamuffinry, but all in all, Hook was far from perfection. It is, HOWEVER, a pretty darn good Robin Williams flick.

Robin, Robin, Robin. So many movies. So many Laughs. So many tears. Love him or hate him- the dude has skillz. Therefore I came up with the best and worst of Robin William’s oeurve. Note: Half the movies on the Goddawful list I have not seen but am fully confident in their excruciating dreadfullness based on trailers and general life experience.

Top 10 Most Brilliant Robin Williams Movies

1.) Ms. Doubtfire
2.) Aladdin
3.) The Birdcage
4.) Death to Smoochy
5.) Deconstructing Harry
6.) Dead Poets Society
7.) Hook
8.) The Word According to Garp
9.) Good Will Hunting
10.) Patch Adams

Top 10 Most Goddawful Robin Williams Movies

1.) August Rush
2.) The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
3.) Night At the Museum 1 and 2
4.) License to Wed
5.) Jumanji
6.) One Hour Photo
7.) Old Dogs
8.) Fern Gully
9.) Insomnia
10.) Patch Adams

I’m not gunna lie- I fricken love RW. He’s a nutjob and I wish we were roommates. We’d sit around drinking absinthe all day doing character monologues back and forth until we woke up the next morning singing “You Never Had A Friend Like Me” while washing the dishes. Oh, What Dreams May Come!

Top 5 Most Perfect Movies

Perfect? What on earth could that mean? The idea of the perfect movie first occurred to me several months ago when I attended a Movie in the Park extravaganza in San Francisco. The feature was…dun dun duuuun…Back to the Future. A park filled with an urban gathering of the Mcfly generation was, as expected, the best possible way to see Back to the Future for the 15th time and despite the fact that I was sitting on some random pipe in the ground and some exhibitionist couple were violently sucking face two inches in front of me, I had a marvelous time.

I left thinking, “What a perfect movie!” Every single minute mattered, entertained, and delighted. From Crispin Glover, Michael J Fox, and Leah Thompson to Christopher Lloyd RIP- (Wait, did he die?) the acting was SPOT ON. Even Einstein the dog was on point. The details were impeccable- Anyone remember the ululating Libyan terrorists? THE POWER OF LOVE!? I could go on.

What I decided makes a perfect movie are the following elements:

A.) Not a minute is wasted on superfluous scenes intended to showcase the leading actor’s talent (or lack thereof), extraneous plot developments, or overdramatized landscape panning.
B.) Each actor owned their role in a way that nobody else could.
C.) The soundtrack enhances the concept of the film without becoming the centerpiece of its momentum.
D.) The plot is seamless with scenes that are coherent but not overly predictable.
E.) Every time you watch the movie, you notice some new detail that’s extremely funny, telling, or well...perfect.

Enough reasoning. Here is my Top 5 Most Perfect Movie List:

1.) Ferris Bueller’s Day off
2.) Back To the Future
3.) The Sandlot
4.) The Fugitive
5.) Close tie between Ace Ventura Pet Detective and Dumb and Dumber

Clearly, I am a product of the Mcfly Generation. Feel free to add or debate this list with your own experiences in Perfect Cinema. Goodnight and Good Luck.