Portlandia

I went to Portland last weekend and it was just lovely. Some thoughts on Portland:

1.) Still in the 90's. This not only includes flannel shirts tied around the waist, a bumping Doc Martin's store and a propensity towards erotica, but GOOD PRICES. It seemed to my travel companions and I that inflation may have come to a halt in the 90's for the dear city of Portland. I chugged a top shelf martini for 5 dollars there. And it was NOT happy hour. 5 dollars.

Also- My roommate invited his 90's high school sweetheart to hang out, and she was the kind of crazy that you only really saw in the 90's- Girl Interrupted, Poison Ivy, Kids, Mad Love. Think red lipstick, alcoholism, no shame. The first bar refused to serve her, the second bar asked her to stop dry humping on the booth and by the time we got home she was offering everyone an assortment of pharmaceuticals.

I also thought I was eating next to Jared Leto at one point. NINE-TIES.


2.) The Rose Garden. Not in bloom. Bullshit.


3.) Damn. Good. Food. Jessie's picks: Beesaw's Bacon Breakfast Sandwich (goat cheese, avocado, applewood smoked bacon, french bread) and mimosas, Cafe Mingo's Happy Hour (5 dollar small plates and drinks- sauteed calamari, cold meat plate, lamb meatballs, fried mozzarella), Sansai Grill's all day happy hour- 1/2 price on selected rolls and sake, Kenny and Zuke's Jewish delicatessen (extensive selection of vintage bottled sodas and bagel dogs), and Biwa Japanese Ramen House(a broth to write home about). And since Portland is still in the 90's each meal cost less than 20 dollars WITH dranks.

4.) Vintage Clothing- Can't swing a dead raccoon without hitting a vintage store. You guessed it- Lots of 90's style threads to be had. Were oral herpes 90's too? Because I saw an inordinate amount of that too. In the Vintage stores. Hmm.

5.) Forest Park- Nature is pretty in in Portland. Local food, fair-trade Coffee, rivers, fog. I went on a two mile hike with my friend Danny and my roommate in the Northwestern Rainforest known as Forest Park. Glorious. Just glorious. I subjected Danny to a personality test and then we beat the metaphor of Waves as romantic relationships to death concluding that waves are a good metaphor for basically everything. Waves are a metaphor for Portland. Sometimes they are calm like a smooth jazz song playing at your favorite Powell's location, and sometimes they are totally gnarly, like a pair of oddly stained stonewashed jeans on an androgynous local dj who refuses to humor (humor- not even play- humor) your request for a song that didn't exist in the 90's.


Basically, I loved Portland. I'd live there if it wasn't an hour from the ocean and it didn't rain half the year. It warms my heart that there will always be a place where I can wear multi-colored spandex without judgment, stuff my face with fresh organic hand massaged chickens for 10 dollars and buy the hat that was made out of the raccoon I swung when I was looking for a store that carries the flower printed baby doll dress Alicia Silverstone wore in "Cryin'."

Pillow Talk

I have been a pillow case making fool for the past couple of months. Here is a small showCASE: