Amish You a Merry Christmas

Just when you think the miracle of Christmas is a holey old joke of a sock- You go to Wisconsin and everything changes.

I live in California. And I love it. But the only other place I would consider living in this world is Wisconsin. Imagine my ultimate joy when I found out that my small clan and I would be celebrating the birth of C in an unincorporated village on the snow filled plains of Wisconsin this year. Yahtzee!

On Christmas day, my family piled into my father's beloved mini van and off we drove to my cousins house- All very "Over the river and through the woods." Amidst explaining to my other cousin the Oakland slang, "Doin too much," my dad drove off the road and into a ditch. Whether he was "doin too much" or "not enough" is still up for debate.

The family squawked about for a minute or two, complaining of cold, making jokes and generally being useless when a little blue light from the distance started bobbing towards us. It was The Amish. Or An Amish. A man with a very long beard. As he chatted with the other Men, another Amish came by. In a horse drawn buggy. A voice from it shouted, "I would help but cars are ugly!"

Mokay. I didn't know the Amish were so feisty. Feisty and efficient. Within 5 minutes the bobbing blue light man came back to us with a small metal wagon sleigh thing attached to a pair of enormous horses. As fast as you could say, "Amish you a Merry Christmas!" the Amish tied a chain from the van to the wagon, cried yehaw; his mighty horses plucking the van from its snowy resting place- then disappeared back into the barn from whence they came.

A country Christmas Miracle. I was thrilled, my faith (in horses) restored, my hands numb from clapping in 30 degree weather. We hopped back into the van to the aroma of Roast Beast and exulted. The Amish are doin just right and yes, cars are ugly.

Don't Forget to Love Yourself

My students and I wrote this song.


I love myself,
I am very attractive,
Everything I do
is super duper positive.

I'm nice,
I'm cool,
I'm good,
I'm a rockstar.

Bet ya didn't know
I live on Planet Ma-ars.
I'm an alien shark
with High Self-Esteem,
I'm so cool
I'm on the Ice Cream Team.

School is Bomb!

The high school drop out rate is on the rise. There are a lot of scary statistics out there saying so. The worst kind of statistics. The kind you won't really think about until the day America loses the Battle of the Universe to Lithuania and we are all wearing McDonalds French Fry cups for mittens. Everyone will want to know- How did we lose to Lithuania?

A failing and progressively ineffective public education system will be the answer. Well, one of them at least.

If it's not the fact that public ed is still stuck in a education model that was made in the industrial era- prioritizing skills more useful in the factory than in the innovation of the global market- it will be a sheer numbers game.

There won't be enough people to fight for American freedom because not enough people will be able to have the freedom of a High School diploma *. Without a diploma * you can't join the military. Without military power, you lose the Battle of the Universe. Tic Toc. Tic Toc.

As I was driving to school the other day I heard a wonderful commercial on the radio urging young people to go back to school! Ernest and free flowing voices of urban youth spoke of their teenage parenthood, incarcerations, and homelessness. Education they claimed, was their only option for success. Of course, I was tearing up, passionately nodding my head and gripping the steering wheel in fierce agreement. When they finished, "This announcement is sponsored by the United States Army."

It reminded me of a speech Arne Duncan, Secretary of Education, gave wherein he stated, "75 percent of young Americans, between the ages of 17 to 24, are unable to enlist in the military today because they have failed to graduate from high school, have a criminal record *, or are physically unfit."

75%. Great for an outlet mall. Terrible for the United States. Now, I'm not an alarmist, NRA member, war monger or any other such proponent of bombs, violence, or the killing of innocent babies, but like it or not, the military is necessary for National Security. We want it strong for various reasons. Plus, it's been helpful for things like stopping Hitler and keeping out terrorists.......oh wait, nevermind.

Should the Battle of the Universe take place in an era low on high school graduates, American military will be understaffed, ill-prepared, and the rest of us could be at risk for an unwelcomed draft.

Dramatic? Yes. Lose sleep? Not just yet. Another reason why Public ed is in crisis and needs a massive overhaul? HU-RAH!