Obsessica

I am a person of obsessive character. Always have been. Therefore I have deemed myself- Obsessica.

Top 5 current Obsessicans:

1.)The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Intimate Relationships.

Anyone (literally ANYONE) I've talked to about any remotely emotional issue has fallen prey to my Hail Mary's for this book. All my closest friends have their Dance of Anger eye rolling routine down to a T and honestly it does nothing to stop me from toting, promoting, and quoting the hell out this book. It has, for a lack of better expression, Changed my life. Okay so, no one thing can change life- besides death! (ha) but it has definitely been a catalyst for creating change and I recommend it to EVERYONE, male and female. In a nutshell,it's all about breaking relationship patterns, taking responsibility for yourself, and being able to use your anger as a tool. It's better than Catcher in the Rye. I would shamelessly sell it to a blind grandmother with dementia, along with a set of Cutco knives and a marshmallow shooter from Sky Mall.

2.) Walter Munez (Meownez) and Guzman De La Guzman De La Guzman

These are my cats. There's nothing more to say. Yadda Yadda crazy cat lady yadda yadda. Get over it. I love my pets.

3.) Photoshop

Last night, amidst dreaming of erotically washing blue paint off of Christian Bale's leg, I had a vision of a photoshopped postcard that included Two Circles, one black, the other white, and a small black child in between them. This dream could have many meanings.

One- I am having some kind of cultural identity crisis.

Two- I'm in love with Christian Bale and he loves me and I should be expecting this exact postcard to arrive any day now.

Three- I'm obsessicad with Photoshop and I can't stop and I need to find a way to make money through photoshopping pictures of my boyfriend and I in various exotic locations, or I will surely become undone.

4.) List Making

Hence this post. Hence my life. Obsessican #4 Check!

5.) This American Life

I no longer tell stories of my own. What's the point? I did not kill someone accidentally as a teenager, adopt a dissociative child from Eastern Europe, survive a tornado on prom night, hide the exorbitant amount of money I made off of selling bullets to locals in random household items only to sell the items in a garage sale, whisper into an elementary child's ear "Knock it the fuck off you little shit," lie to an internet scammer that his mother was dead after sending him on a wild goose chase to the border of Darfur, want to spend $120 on a deformed red headed baby doll named Nubbins in order to save it from a spoiled child with a racist mother. I did not do any of these things. I could talk about my trip to Walgreens last night. But the one about the guy who started hand sewing highly accurate Superman costumes that he wears on a regular basis after his wife died- is so much better.